What Is It About Office Bullies?

It seems like every office has one. Some person who appears to enjoy making everyone else’s life miserable. Their general behavior tends to leave a wake of angry or crying teammates. They are a common point of discussion around the water cooler and someone is always complaining about what the bully did to them recently.

The problem is that for some reason the boss never does anything about the bully. Why is that? Because, too often the bully is also a key member of the team. They are the top salesman, or the most valued professional, or even “the public face of the company”. The boss doesn’t want to confront the issues because he’s afraid that he’ll lose the production or support of the bully. Quite the conundrum, isn’t it?

From my perspective the answer is “no.” These people are cancers to an organization. While they may have tremendous individual productivity and contributions, the negative affect they have on their coworkers over the long-haul far outweighs their individual production. They need to be dealt with, and if necessary be excised from the organization. Sure, you’ll need to plan for the loss of their contribution, but you can’t be held hostage by it.

If you’re the boss and you’ve got a bully in your midst, it is your job to confront the situation. But I hear you thinking, “Bullies are tough – how do I confront them without getting beaten up myself?” You deal with bullies the same way you deal with other performance issues – with facts and consistency.

Start by gathering data. Who had negative interactions with the bully – when did it happen – what were the consequences? How is the bully affecting your business? Then you have a direct and honest conversation. Recognize the positive contributions of the bully (thank you very much) and address the issue of bullying. Create the clear expectation that bullying behavior will not be tolerated by your company – in fact it’s probably already prohibited behavior as defined in your Employee Handbook.

Keep in mind that most of us are not trained psychologists. Don’t try to get inside the bully’s head to figure out why he/she behaves badly. The “why” isn’t your problem. You also don’t need to get into an argument about what really happened or why the bully acted the way she did. You simply need to set the expectation that behavior that demeans others or causes hate and discontent to spread through the office will not be tolerated. If the bully says “But I never did that,” then you say “Fine – that means you shouldn’t have any problem not doing it in the future, because if you do there will be consequences.”

Bullying behavior is a matter of will, not of skill. People don’t need 30 days to stop being a bully. They need to stop today, and if they exhibit that behavior again tomorrow there will be a problem.

The only way to stop a bully is to draw a line in the sand and take a stand. Sometimes it’s tough being a manager, but if it was easy, they wouldn’t need you.